Helllllooooooo!

Wow, it's been a long time. I just read Chriselda's blog and thought that I finally needed to update mine. Then after reading hers I also decided that I'm lousy at telling stories and that I should just copy hers onto mine.

I've been sucked into that evil spawn called Myspace and haven't been able to post anything on here. Plus, I'm still not officially able to be on the computer at work for non-work related things......oh well!

I've been trying to get some top secret Christmas shopping done, but because this is on the internet where people can read it at their will I'm being forced into keeping quiet about it. Sorry for the inconvenience.

I was just watching the AMA's and holy crap it's awful. I can't say that all of it is bad but most of it is horrible! The only good things that I've seen are the old 80's people that are on there....Cyndi Lauper and The Eurythmics. Damn, Annie Lennox looks good! And what the hell is going on with Hillary Duff?? What happened to that chick? She's totally falling into that Ho Bag Lindsey Lohan's footsteps. She looks terrible (way too skinny, horse teeth) and she was singing off key and I swear she was on something.

And while I'm dis'ing the Teen Queens I might as well get after Ashlee Simpson. GEEZ! What was this drunken debauchery in McDonald's? Alright, I'm neither rich, nor famous and trust me, I've had plenty to drink in my day....but come on! Don't you at least TRY to clean up your act when you're in the spotlight? Her daddy Joe taught her to wait until she was married to have sex, but getting drunk and sitting on the counter at Micky Dee's is ok. WHAT??? I don't think celebrities realize that camera phones could be the beginning of their demise. Do you really think that anyone would've believed that guy if he didn't have it on video? Well, probably. But that just makes it better!

So Hillary, Lindsay, Ashlee and the countless other Drama Rama Girlies, be on the lookout! You never know when your anorexic, fake teeth, drunken, drug crazed days may be over.

I'm soooo behind!

So why am I posting this and not doing something about being behind?? I have no idea. Maybe being behind on my blog is another thing that I need to be doing. See, I'm actually doing work.....

Anyways, it's Thursday and that means that a new Effer dare is coming out tomorrow. I'm so proud of myself that I finally got caught up, but I haven't done this week's dare so I guess I'm really not caught up. Jeez.

My mom's big 50th Birthday is coming up this weekend (Holy Crap that reminds me of Clueless...."It was his 50th Birthday!") Nerd Alert!!

Brandon's brother and sister-in law are also coming in town so that means lots of going out. I know we're going to dress up. I'm going to be a generic Nun this year. I can't believe that I bought something from the store AND it's something that a million people have been and will be this year. Maybe next year I'll have my act together and I'll actually be something cool. The only good thing is that my nun outfit hides all of my imperfections. All 327 of them.

I just had to do it....

One blog wasn't enough. Now I've gone off and gotten a page on MySpace. That's exactly what I needed to do because I'm so good at keeping up with this one.

I just got the new Effer Dare today and it's all about Then and Now. I've laid out a few ideas and I'm hoping they'll come across.

I'm having this breakdown right now. Not a literal breakdown, but mentally I'm torn over something. I'm thinking about becoming a vegetarian. I don't really want to be known as a vegetarian because I think they become one of "those" people. And I don't want to have a label like that. I don't want to fall off the wagon and eat a hamburger one day and hear people say, "hey, look at the vegetarian...." I just don't feel that eating animals is ethical. I've started feeling guilty whenever I eat any kind of meat....fish, pork, beef, chicken...it all bothers me. I just think about it while I'm eating. Maybe it's a weird phase that I'm going through, or maybe not.

Just venting....

So I love when people leave comments on my blog. Who doesn't? But the thing I'm mad about today....these stupid advertisements left as comments! I get excited because it says, "1 new comment" I click on it and BAM! there's a bunch of crap that's 2 pages long about how trees are the life support of the world. WHAT?? That's what they wanted to leave me?? Was I that boring? Can you not sell me this crap anywhere else?? Bitches.

What else is going on today?
I broke in my purple clogs.....

Alright, just kidding, I didn't do that. But I did go to the gym, which broke my previous record of 1 day this week. Now I'm up to 2 days in a row. WOOHOO!!

Alright, I'm out.

Dream a Little Dream.....

What a crazy night I had last night. Went out. Got Drunk. Dreamt of Jake Gyllenhaal. Wow. I always thought he was cute but this just brought it home. It's weird how in your dreams you perceive people. He was this incredible, fascinating, smart person. Whether he's really like that or not I'll never know, but it's nice to dream.

The last time I had a dream like that about a celebrity was Elijah Wood. That one was awesome too. None of my celebrity dreams are ever sexual ones, I just have the feeling throughout the dream that I know them on a very personal level.

I would say that dreams are one of my favorite things in my whole life. I remember almost every one of my dreams. The only draw back to having so many are the nightmares. I probably have ten bad dreams a month. Those vary from death dreams, to people chasing me, to Christ coming back. I've tried studying my dreams but I feel like it leads me to a never ending road. There are so many different interpretations to many different people. Maybe they don't mean anything....or maybe they mean everything. Who knows?

Other things going on in my life.....
Behind on Effer Dares
Finally settling on a costume
Gym with Chriselda tomorrow
Enjoying the nice weather.

'Til Next Week.....

I'll never wear white again.....

Last night one of Brandon's friends was cooking at this super nice event. It's a "Signature Chef" event for the MDA and his friend hooked us up with some free tickets. Because I've gained even more weight lately I had to find something to wear yesterday. I decided that I would buy some nice gray pants and maybe a white shirt. Honestly this outfit would look like I was waiting tables at the event, but I was honestly going for comfort over looks....and when you're feeling like an ogre before you leave a skirt just ain't gonna cut it!

I get to Brandon's house around 6:45 and this thing was kicking off at 7:30. I was sitting in the living room waiting for Brandon to change and decided I should do one more booger check before we go. I blow into the tissue, look down at it (which is really gross in itself) and see what appears to be blood.....lots of it. GREAT!!!! I get up and instantly say, "fuck fuck fuck". I run to the bathroom and it's already too late. Blood On The White Shirt. We have less than 20 minutes to get there now and it looks like I massacred a bunny on my shirt. I yell at Brandon to see if he knows what gets blood out (he's a better Suzie Homemaker than I am) and he says, "spit". HUH?? Great to know, but what am I going to do about it.....I currently have a rag shoved up my nose. This is when True Love kicks into effect. The boyfriend dips down to my level.....and starts sucking on my shirt!! I really hope that when I die I'll get to see moments like this from a different point of view. I can't imagine how ridiculous we looked! Needless to say, he got it out. I don't know how, but he did. You could only notice if I pointed it out. We were good with time to spare......

So we get to the party and start getting in lines for the food. Amazing chefs from Amarillo, and his friend the "guest chef" of the evening. I delved into his friends food as if it were the last meal that I would have and didn't realize that as I savored his friends amazing dish that I dripped gravy all the way down the front of my freshly "cleaned" white shirt. SHUT UP! What are the odds?? I run back to the table and try to clean it off with water. I'm guessing I did an ok job because I could barely notice it. Luckily we didn't stay very long and I made it out of there just in time before something worse happened.

We did go to Pimps and Hoes last night at Coconutz. It's become an annual tradition for me and B. We've gone every year that we've dated. We walked in last night around 11 and I swear....out of the 150 people in the bar me, Brandon, and 3 other people were dressed up. Last year I would say that 5 people Weren't dressed up. I really don't understand what happened this year. My guess is that there are about 6 bars in town that do some kind of Pimp and Ho party during the year......and I think people are tired of it. Even though the original one in Amarillo was at this bar that we were at last night. I'm hoping that this isn't the end of Pimps and Hoes at Coconutz. Hell, if they do end it.....I'll still be there in my hooker gear.

I am officially an effer!!

I guess technically I'm not an effer yet because only a handful of people have seen my stuff and aboslutely none of it is online. But I do have some LOs done and I can't wait to put them on 2peas!

I officially turned into a pretentious art f*ck as I like to call them. Today I wore my PAF clothes that make me look like I'm ready to go to the coffee house at any moment.....so that's what I did. I finally felt like I belonged there. Kinda fun.

To answer Chrisleda's question about all the Beatles songs I have on my ipod.....it's for work. I'm the music director at the radio station and for some reason (I have no clue as to why) I can't remember every single Beatles song. So I put them on my ipod so I know what albums and who sang the songs. Sometimes I confuse John with Paul and vice versa. I think Paul was trying to sound like John.....hell Paul's still gonna be my fave no matter....he could've sang like a dog barking and I wouldn't have cared. Have you seen that guy lately? Still hot after all these years. AND he's married to a chick with one leg!! SHUT UP! If losing a limb would've helped me get Paul McCartney!! I hear that you can actually get prosthetics that look real now.....CUT IT OFF!!

Alright, this blog is getting weird.....

'Til next month!!

I'm so bad at this!

I swear I'm the worst blogger ever! I can't ever remember to do this thing. Chriselda has mad followers because she posts almost every day. Nobody would ever follow me. They could check it once every 5 months and finally get a new post!

So today is Monday and I'm leaving in two days to go to Missouri.....or "Misery" as I like to call it. It's weird to think that I could've moved there a few years ago. Then I wouldn't be going there this week because I wouldn't even know Brandon or Eric thus leaving me no reason to be going on vacation there.

I guess things turned out much better because I stayed here. Weird how things happen like that sometimes.


So I went to my friend's house last night for a bday party. She just started sbing a few months ago and she showed me her stuff. I am so jealous. I think he stuff is better than mine and I've been doing this for 2 years!!

Bad things that happened today:
-$90 electric bill
-Someone stole the antenna off my car
-Pants aren't buttoning
-Same pants have holes in inner thighs
-Dropped cell phone in puddle

Things to do tomorrow:
-Pay bills
-Meet with boss
-Buy bigger pants
-Let phone dry out

Another one Bites the Dust....

My blog has absolutely nothing to do with that song other than my friend getting it stuck in my head last night. Now I can't get it out.

The other thing I keep saying is "Twins is Twins" which is probably what K. Fed is saying right now. No wonder Brit started getting huge at the beginning of her pregnancy. I thought it was just Doritos and Frapps getting her down, but good thing she has an excuse now.

Today's been a weird day for me. I woke up to find that I've lost 2 more lbs. which brings my total wt. loss to 4 lbs. in 4 days. I guess I can't complain. But after the fiber incident last night I probably should've lost about 10 lbs. But 2 is good.

I went to eat with Brandon at Schlotzky's earlier and I was a good girl and ate salad. B got the potato soup and I was so jealous so he offered me a bite which was totally awesome because that's all I wanted. Then he said, "No 'one bites' allowed, you've gotta have at least two." So I said okay. I was almost finished eating my salad when I looked over and noticed that all of the soup was gone and I hadn't even gotten ONE bite yet. Jeez. Then he felt bad and wanted to buy me a whole cup which totally defeated the purpose of just having one bite, so we left.

I got home to check my mail because I have a million ebay items simultaneously being shipped to my apartment and much to my surprise not one of them was there. Not even the scrapbook crap that I bought over a month ago. That made me a little angry....even more than the soup did.

I walk upstairs and even more to my surprise I have no key to my apartment. B has it. Great. It was definitely fixable but still a pain in the arse.

The point to all of this crap.....
I really hate whenever you're having a good day. One that starts out with you losing weight, and making every light on the way to work, only to be ruined by stupid things. I know that my entire day isn't ruined but it did make it bittersweet.

Tomorrow I'm shooting for weight loss and absolutely NO bad things.

Vote for Fiber

Welcome to Hell. Alright, it's not Exactly hell, but it's pretty close. I've started eating good and I have to give myself props for that, but right now I hate myself. I ate fiber today and lots of it. Not 10 grams, or 20 even.....try 26 grams of fiber!!! That's enough to kill a man, and trust me it's almost killed me. I can't figure out if my Crazy Ass Bowel Movement is a response to the fiber or if I really am sick. That's really scary when you can't tell the difference. Is that a sign that I've had too much?

Last night I drank green tea and had fiber and this didn't happen. Maybe it was built up from last night too. The only thing I can say is.....watch the fiber, and make sure you're not on a road trip!

Here we go again.....

Well, it's my worst enemies' favorite day.....the day that I get my revenge. What could be so bad that every person that hates me would dance with joy?? Public humilitation? No....too easy. Tomatos thrown at my face?? No, they wash off. I'm talking about the worst thing in my life.....needles. Mainly getting my blood taken. I've talked about all of this, several times I'm sure, on Diaryland. I know that everyone has GOT to be tired of this. But this is MY BLOG! I can talk about whatever I want to talk about because No one is going to read this anyways!!

So I called to get an appointment yesterday and much to my surprise they had an opening this morning at 9:30. Oh boy! I got up early and headed to the office. I sat down in the waiting room with 4 other people and I flip open a Seventeen. "Amy Arthur". Crap! That was fast.....too fast. "Just sit right in this chair and we'll get your blood drawn." What?!? A bed....I need a bed! NOW! They get me in the room, lay me on the bed and then start poking. Unfortunately the girl today must have been fairly new because she hurt me. Normally I cry and almost pass out when someone good is doing it so you can imagine me today. There was no crying oddly enough but there was some threat of blacking out. I starting going down right after she pulled the needle out. I drank my juice and ate my Slimfast bar that I brought along and waited for Doc to come in. Bad news was just around the corner.....

He came in and checked my vitals. He said that everything looked okay and asked me if I've been having any problems. YES! I haven't been sleeping at night, and I've been waking up sweating. "Well, I think we're going to check you for diabetes today, because that's one of the symptoms". You've got to be kidding me. Diabetes? I'm 25. I know that I've gained some weight but it doesn't run in my family. I mean, I already have a thyroid problem, what more punishment do I need? I'm already poked enough! I don't want to have to prick myself!

I'm sitting here at work.....worrying. I'm scared. What if it comes back positive? What do I do then? I know I shouldn't worry about things that haven't happened yet, but I am. I should get the results in the next few days and I will definitely be posting about it. Please wish me luck.

I'm baaaaaaack!

Wow, it feels like I've been gone forever! Which is weird because I've only had one post. Oh well, I'm still back in my mind!

Not much has really been going since the last post which was like 2 months ago so that tells you how boring I am.

Yesterday was the 4th of July which is weird that we live in America and we refer to a holiday the way British people regularly talk. 4-7-05.....that crap always confuses me.

I didn't do anything for the Fourth except get up at 4:30 in the morning to go to a sale at the scrapbook store.....exactly what I should've done. I was surprised to see how die hard other people are about SB stuff. The store was packed, and these women even got up early to put makeup on. Doesn't that say a lot about our culture that women don't want to be seen at 5 am without makeup on. Hell, I guess I can't say anything....I had mine on.

Then I headed to the grand city of Canyon for the Fair on the Square. I saw lots of people showing up with dogs and then I heard the rumor of a dog show. I was so excited that I would be seeing cute little doggies all morning. I went to the sign up table to pet some pooches and spotted a cute little Boston Terrier, the same dog that my mom has. I decided to sneak up behind him and get a pet in before he noticed me and that's when he turned around.........

It was the EYE OF DESTRUCTION!!! It was a complete mess. At first I thought it was a glass eye......and honestly I'm still not sure exactly what it was, but it was gross. So gross that the owner probably saw the look of horror on my face when I said, "Mmmm.....cute dog........??????".

But the mayhem didn't end there. One lady walked by with a little chihuahua that had a hat and sunglasses on. I just HAD to pet this dog. I made the remark that I really liked his sunglasses and the lady says, "He's blind." JEEZ! How many maimed dogs can be at this function?? Then I felt bad because it was like telling a blind person to "get this dog outta here!". It's just something that you don't say to a blind pet. I feel like it hurt his feelings more than his owner.

Luckily we didn't have to stay any longer for the fair so I got to go home and Sleep!!

Mr. and Mrs. Spears

What is going on??

My friend called me this morning to inform me that she had watched the infamous Federlines on Ellen. Apparently Ellen had asked Kevin what he thinks about love and he replied, "Love is.....Love".

Alright, is it just me (and my friend) but is this guy the dumbest smart guy ever?!

I really can't stand this guy, for more reasons than one, but you have to give it to him....he's pretty damn smart. Not only has he got the best free ride in the history of golddigging but he's also banging Britney Spears for Christ's sake, although right now that probably isn't such a great thing. Have you seen this chick?? I thought Teen Princess Ho Bags were supposed to be beautiful....Forever. Look at Debbie Gibson, or Deborah for all you newbies. That girl just posed for Playboy....PLAYBOY! She's not exactly young anymore, but she's Stunning! So why can't Brit get some acne cream, a trainer, and rid of the Funyuns?

I have to tell you that I'm extremely dissapointed with the role models of this generation. They're basically telling kids that it's okay to "hook up" with some other girls man who is about to be a daddy. It's really sad that "My baby's daddy" has become a part of junior high and high school kids vocabulary. Do I blame all of this on the Feders? No. But I do think that kids would see it as more acceptable now that it's happened to someone famous. I'm sure people would disagree that kids don't care what celebs do, but they are so wrong. Even adults want famous people to tell them what to do, and buy. If no one cared, then Pizza Hut, AOL, and Jaguar wouldn't need celebs on their commercials. They could just hire any average Joe.

Ok, I'm really getting off track here. Back to the Spears'...

Kids need good role models. Lots of kids don't have moms, or dads, or both and they want someone to look up to for answers. I don't think celebrities should stop their lives because someone's going to judge what they're doing, but why not clean up their act a bit? Isn't this the same girl that exactly 4 years ago was a "wait until I'm married" virgin? What happened to that girl? I know that we all grow and change but her and Kev have gone off the deep end.